Dear Aunt Shurance               

TM-trademark of Shulman Consulting Group Inc.  All of the characters, locales, and situations below are 100% fictional.
A Fictional "Advice Column" With Answers To Real Insurance Issues.
   DRIVER SEEKS DRIER INSURANCE AGENT

Dear Aunt Shurance,

I need a new agent for my auto insurance.  My current one has his office above a bar.  When I filed a claim for a small bumper thumper, he estimated my damages by counting swizzle sticks and then handed me a cocktail napkin as if it were a claim check.  When I objected, he mumbled that he forgot about the bumper and handed me a square of paper towel, saying “here, this check’s bigger and more absorbent.”  Auntie, can you please recommend another agent for me?  I don’t trust my judgment lately; I actually tried to cash that piece of paper towel!  All Wrung Out.

Dear Wrung Out,  
 
You definitely need a new agent; one who recognizes the difference between a paper product and an insurance document.  I suggest that you talk to someone at The Rodgers Agency, or visit anyone of their offices.  They offer terrific auto insurance rates and absolutely assure me that they never take absorbency into account when preparing an insurance proposal.  So give them a call today dear.  I’ll vouch for them.  And remember now, you can’t use that paper towel as a down payment.  

THE CASE OF THE STOLEN HOUSE


Dear Aunt Shurance,

I just painted my home a beautiful lawn green.  I thought it was a great idea.  Unfortunately, it has created a problem with my current homeowners insurance agent.  The gentleman is now convinced that someone has stolen my home and that I reside in a vacant field.  I can’t afford to paint the house again, so can you suggest another agent for me; one with low rates would be nice.  Green Lover  
 
Dear Green,  

I definitely see what you mean.  You need an agent who’s well-grounded in both insurance principles and reality.  I suggest that you call The Rodgers Agency.  They're down to earth and will write your homeowners policy with the right coverages, at a very affordable rate.  They’ll even arrange to cancel your existing policy by gently explaining to your former agent that aliens returned your house, on the condition that they handle the insurance from now on.  That’s why I like the The Rodgers Agency; they always explain complicated matters in very understandable terms.

THE QUEEN WITH THE SPARKLING EARS


Dear Aunt Shurance,

My cheapskate husband finally broke down and bought me some diamond earrings for our 10th anniversary.  They make me look like a queen.  The only trouble is that my king doesn’t want me to wear them because he’s afraid that I’ll lose one or both.  What good are a girl’s best friends if she can’t show them off?  I even got a buzz cut so that my hair wouldn’t hide them.  How can I convince my royal pain of a husband to let me wear my jewelry outside of the house?  Hairless at Home

Dear Hairless, 

Tell his Highness that there is such a thing as jewelry insurance.  It covers you whether you lose one earring or two. Have the king bring his receipts or appraisals, plus your homeowners policy, over to a prince of an agency, The Rodgers Agency.  The Rodgers Agency will make sure that your crown jewels and your castle are well protected.  Plus, sweetie, the total premium will be a lot less than a king’s ransom.  With The Rodgers Agency as your protector, be assured that if you lose your jewelry, you won’t also lose your head.